CRUD tournament draws raucous crowd Published March 9, 2012 By Mike W. Ray Tinker Public Affairs TINKER AIR FORCE BASE, Okla. -- The first-ever "CRUD" tournament conducted at Tinker Air Force Base attracted almost 60 contestants comprising 14 teams, and lasted six raucous hours. "It was a battle royale," said Lt. Col. Rick "Rico" Johns, 72nd Mission Support Group vice commander and co-organizer of the event. CRUD is a fast-paced game that was played on a snooker table in Rosie's Lounge at the Tinker Club. Only two balls were used: the cue ball (known as the object ball) and one target ball (most commonly a striped ball). Only the corner pockets are used; the side pockets are blocked off with toilet paper. Also, pool cues are not used; the object ball is launched across the table surface by hand. CRUD involves running frantically around the table and other players, trying to grab the object ball and either strike the target ball before it stops moving, or sink it. On the opening serve, the defender must be at the opposite end of the table from the shooter and may not physically obstruct the shooter, but is allowed to do anything to harass, visually obscure or otherwise distract the shooter from hitting the target ball. CRUD, which has a multitude of rules, is purported to have originated with the Royal Canadian Air Force and was adopted by the U.S. Air Force many years ago. "This is like war," said Johns, who coordinated the contest with assistance from 2nd Lt. Jon "Paintball" Tillman. 1st Lt. Rebecca "Shadow" Wynn of the 963rd Airborne Air Control Squadron volunteered to referee the rowdy event March 2. "We plan to do this quarterly," Johns added. The Dirtbags captured the traveling championship trophy, defeating the Conduct Unbecoming team. Members of the Dirtbags were Lt. Col. Ronnie "Hands" Devlin, 2nd Lt. Zach "Bush" Eaton, 2nd Lt. Mitchell "Juice" Lowry, and 2nd Lt. Cory "Pol" Ostrowski. Members of Conduct Unbecoming were Lt. Col. David "Jaws" Vercellone, Col. David "Czar" Penczar, Capt. Elizabeth "WW" Crane and Ken "Hammer" Kitzmiller. The Dirtbags advanced to the final by plucking the feathers of the Blue Falcons from the 552nd Air Control Wing, while Conduct Unbecoming outlasted the Gene Frenkle Memorial team from the 72nd Air Base Wing Mission Support Group. Members of the Blue Falcons were 1st Lt. Christopher "Snorkel" Tegtmeyer, 1st Lt. Allen "Ali" Ratliff, 1st Lt. Quan "Merkin" Patten, and 2nd Lt. Robert "Winger" Winston. The Gene Frenkle Memorial team was comprised of Col. Stephen "Woody" Woods, Col. Julie "Jewels" Boit, Johns and Tillman. (Gene Frenkle was the fictional cowbell player on a Saturday Night Live skit that featured Will Ferrell and Christopher Walken.) Other teams vying for the trophy were: Gryffindor - Maj. Timothy "Bullet" Albrecht, 1st Lt. Timothy "T" Ablay, 1st Lt. Joseph "Baby Joe" Steffes and 2nd Lt. Scott "Juicebox" Chuck. Slytherin - Capt. Jason "JCrypto" Henry, Capt. Daniel "Devo" Devirgilio, 1st Lt. Thomas E. "Thorpedo" Thorpe, 1st Lt. Joseph R. "JOwens" Owens, and 2nd Lt. Christopher "Grumps" Campbell. CCOs - Capt. Will "Thrill" Hill, 2nd Lt. Kimberlee "Spider" Lowry, SES Robert "Dent" Boyles and Shellie "Knees" Boyles. The Higgins Twist - 1st Lt. Alexander "Wipers" Khutoryan, 2nd Lt. John M. "Tractor" Traylor, 2nd Lt. Kelly "Qatar" Khutoryan and 2nd Lt. Chelsea "Otto" Graf. Dewey, Cheathum and Howe, LLC - Capt. Peter B. "Pistol" Anderson, Capt. Mark W. "SAM" Mason, Capt. Jared M. "Hightower" Miller, and Capt. Heather N. "Lockjaw" Bishop. Dirty Maintenance - Maj. Steven "Jerk" Martin, 1st Lt. Harold "Cid" Gotwald, 2nd Lt. Joseph R. "Dirt" Dechert, and 2nd Lt. Michael J. "Voice" Rodgers. High Maintenance - Col. Cedrick "Curious" George, Capt. Cassandra "Face" Espy, Capt. Robert "Whispers" Yates, and 2nd Lt. Joshua J. "Shep" Shepard. Yak Attack - 2nd Lt. Christopher "Finger" Bollinger,1st Lt. Frank "OR" Jamerson, 2nd Lt. Ben "Shop" Shoptaugh and 1st Lt. Randolph "5 hr" Wilson. Old Farts - Col. Brad "Jethro" Tannehill, Col. John "Fish/Chum" Fisher, Col. Bob "Haggard" Helgeson, and Lt. Col. Paul "Monster" Griffith. Brass Bulls - Lt. Col. John "Judge" Smail, 2nd Lt. Amanda "Parks" Chivers, 1st Lt. Dave "Chewy" Cardona and1st Lt. Trevor "Globo Gym" Steen.