Practice resiliency, save your life Published April 5, 2012 By Brandice J. O'Brien Tinker Public Affairs TINKER AIR FORCE BASE, Okla. -- Most everyone has been there, having experienced a feeling helplessness after several horrendous days in a row. When in that predicament, some may overeat for comfort. Others may treat themselves to something expensive. Members of Tinker's First Sergeants Council said while those actions may not be the healthiest and most responsible, they're OK as long as they don't lead to negative habits or something worse. In recent years, Tinker has suffered the loss of several Airmen, dependents and civilians through suicide. The most recent happened earlier this month when an active-duty Airman murdered his ex-wife before turning the gun on himself. The first sergeants said suicide is not the answer; it's a long-term response to a short-term problem. Airmen must practice resiliency and they must seek help if they or someone they know needs it. "Nothing is worth loving more than yourself," said Master Sgt. Megan Giacchetta, 3rd Combat Communications Support Squadron first sergeant. "Stress in life does not go away and sometimes we feel more overwhelmed than other times. The topic keeps coming up because it's important to continue to inform people how to deal with life's stressors in healthy ways." As the Air Force's budget continues to constrict and the mission grows, Master Sgt. Brian Brewer, 552nd Training Squadron first sergeant, said Airmen have to take charge of their well-being. They need to practice the four pillars of resiliency: mental, physical, spiritual and social health. The way one Airman handles a situation will not be the same for all Airmen. "It's a busy, busy time and some people don't deal with the stress as well as others," Sergeant Brewer said. "I think the more we talk about it, the better equipped most Airmen will be to handle the stress." Sergeants Brewer and Giacchetta said should a military member come forward to their first sergeant or go right to the resource for help, their career won't be in jeopardy. In fact, the issue can be handled with few knowing about what's going on. If the issue becomes an escalating problem and a member's well-being is threatened, squadron leadership will have to be informed. In their combined 34 years of Air Force service, the sergeants said they have come across senior noncommissioned officers and officers who portray themselves as professionals while their home lives fell apart. They have seen Airmen with heavy emotional scars carrying monstrous burdens and dependents who thought there was no other way out but suicide. In each case, the individuals were helped and their careers remained intact. Sergeant Brewer said years ago he met an Airman who had to come to terms with a lie she had been told since she was a child. To cope, she repeatedly sliced her arms with a razor at a specific time of the year. Sergeant Brewer and other Airmen got involved and led her to help. "We want Airmen to get the help they need so they can become productive members of the Air Force," Sergeant Brewer said. "We'd rather deal with the snowball versus the avalanche." Sometimes when someone is crying out for help, a noticeable change can be detected in their personalities. A shy and quiet person may suddenly be outspoken. An extrovert may not have anything to say and answer questions with one-word replies. Other times, there may be no noticeable change and the only way to know something has gone awry is by knowing that person and their behaviors. In those cases, the sergeants said pay attention. "We all get to a point in our lives when we feel like we've hit rock bottom, but there are ways to overcome it. When someone comes to you and says they're having thoughts like this, they're asking for help," Sergeant Giacchetta said. "That's what we want."