Tips on building a strong family Published June 24, 2010 By Joyce Atlee Family Advocacy Outreach Manager TINKER AIR FORCE BASE, Okla. -- Being a parent can be challenging. Being a military parent can seem even more challenging. Long hours, deployments, moving several times or being far away from family and friends, are just a few of the things that can add stress on parents and their children. But through it all, many families manage to rise above it and still raise healthy happy children. Here's a quick review of some of the positive characteristics of strong families. Strong families communicate. Tinker Family Advocacy Officer Capt. Michelle Gramling said, "It's essential for parents to communicate with each other and with their children on a regular basis. The more families communicate, the closer it brings them together. It's even more important when one family member is away, such as during deployments, to keep the lines of communication open with the deployer and family members. Whether they communicate by talking on the phone, texting or 'Skype,' it's vital that they maintain contact as often as they can. Communication helps bridge the distance gap." Strong families show love and affection. "Children need to know they are loved and cherished," said Captain Gramling. As children get older, they may seem embarrassed by being hugged or kissed, especially in front of their friends. But appropriate touch or good communication by a loving parent is OK and essential to happy and healthy relationships. "Talk about it with your child," she advised. "If he says he is truly humiliated, a pat on the shoulder can send the same affectionate signal." It's also a good idea to verbalize your love, not only to the children, but to each other. "When parents frequently express their love for their children, it helps the children realize how much they are cared for," Captain Gramling said. Strong families spend time together and have fun as a family. Life today can be very fast-paced and it can seem like you're on a treadmill, rushing here and there and never having enough time to spend with the people you love. "You have to make spending time with your spouse and children a high priority," insisted Captain Gramling. "Schedule in time to do something together. It can be something simple, like cooking and eating dinner as a family, playing games or reading to your children." Parents can locate low cost or even free entertainment options in the local community by picking up publications like Metro Family, the Gazette or just browsing online. "It's amazing how many free events you can find." said Captain Gramling. "Many are family friendly, and provide an opportunity to get out of the house and have a great time. Families who have experienced deployment within the past year, may qualify for the special DePLAYment Tag program, which provides free and low cost fun activities." For information on the dePLAYment program, call the Tinker Airman and Family Readiness Center at 739-2747 or go to www.myairforcelife.com. Sometimes families need a little extra help to stay strong. The Tinker Family Advocacy Program has information on many counseling and other helpful resources both on and off base. Call 734-4390 for assistance.