Class teaches parents to discipline, not punish Published March 27, 2009 By Joyce Atlee Family Advocacy Outreach Manager TINKER AIR FORCE BASE, Okla., -- Family Advocacy Treatment Manager Loretta Potter, a licensed clinical social worker who teaches the Parenting Young Children class at Tinker, said some parents confuse discipline with punishment. "Punishment is degrading and hurtful, while discipline involves teaching the child," she said. Ms. Potter went on to explain that physical punishment has negative effects on children. "It often teaches them that the parents have the power to hurt them, and that it's OK for the bigger, stronger person to hurt the smaller, weaker person. That's not a healthy life lesson," she said. "Effective discipline, on the other hand, can make the child think about his misbehavior and help parents and children find solutions to create more positive behavior next time." The four-session class, Parenting Young Children, is for parents of children under age 6 and promotes the STAR method: · Stop · Think about their own (the parents') thoughts and feelings about the event · Ask themselves if their expectations of the child are reasonable in this situation · Respond to the child "The goal is to slow down the action," explained Ms. Potter. "To lengthen the response time and allow parents a chance to think things out rather than impulsively react in anger." With young children, Ms. Potter advises selecting from one of several responses. "They can redirect the child into another safe, non-destructive activity," she said. "Another option is simply ignoring the behavior, such as whining. Or, they can allow the child to experience the natural consequences of her behavior, assuming the child will not be endangered in any way. "The fourth choice is to impose a time out or quiet time. Time outs should be in a consistent designated location, when possible, and should last no longer than one minute for each year of the child's age." Ms. Potter said that quiet time differs in that it may be somewhat longer, and can involve just removing the child from the problem situation and allowing time for all parties to calm down. The important aspect of effective discipline is that the parents develop a strategy to correct the challenging behavior. "Discipline is a strategy to teach a child new behaviors," Ms. Potter said. "With punishment, the parent is the only one controlling things, but children need to learn how to control their own behaviors. They must learn to be in charge of their actions and how to channel their behavior in a positive direction." The Parenting Young Children class is offered quarterly at the 72nd Medical Group and is open to anyone who can access Tinker. For more information, call Family Advocacy at 734-4390.