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Start the conversation: Help is available for those who feel hopeless

  • Published
  • By Kimberly Woodruff
  • Staff Writer
TINKER AIR FORCE BASE - Okla. --  Suicides have the ability to spark raw emotions in those left behind. When a celebrity commits suicide, it leads everyone to wonder how they can seem to have it all, but still lose all hope.

Tinker's Billy "Rocky" Dunham, a tools and parts attendant with the 552nd Commodities Maintenance Squadron, has been through the trauma of losing a loved one and now teaches others about suicide prevention by telling his family's story. Mr. Dunham's 27 year old son, Joey, committed suicide in 2008.

"We put a lot of stock in our faith and that has been what got us through, and is getting us through the pain," said Mr. Dunham. "I still have feelings of guilt -- I wasn't able to be there for him. I wasn't educated in the signs of depression."

Recognizing the signs

There are a number of risk factors involved with someone contemplating suicide.
Marital or relationship problems is the No. 1 common risk for a person to take their own life, but other factors -- such as prolonged or unmanageable stress, legal problems, work problems and worrying about the family -- follow closely behind.
Maj. Ryan Buhite, a clinical psychologist and Mental Health flight commander for the 72nd Medical Group, said it is often not just one thing that brings a person to take their own life, it is usually a culmination of a group of different things.

"People who decide to commit suicide often are depressed, feeling worthless, helpless to do anything about it, and hopeless that their situation will ever improve. They also often feel like a burden on others and that they don't fit in anywhere," he said.
Mental health providers have a model to explain how the person's behaviors, physiological factors, environment, and beliefs about themselves, the world and future affect their emotional responses. These factors can help mental health providers explain how mental health problems start, and what factors maintain the mental health symptoms. 

"In the model, generally it isn't just one thing that causes depression or suicidal thinking, but rather a combination of factors that interact with one another to worsen the situation and keep the symptoms going," said Major Buhite. "If someone were having thoughts of wanting to hurt or kill someone or themselves, I would recommend they seek help."

The major said that most Air Force members who kill themselves have not recently been seen in the mental health clinic before their death. Therefore, effective suicide prevention does not only occur in the mental health clinic, rather suicide is prevented by Wingmen and co-workers. "Mental health is only part of the solution," he said. "The military community needs to identify people at risk."

Sometimes others notice there is a problem before the person does. Major Buhite said "when others ask if you are doing OK or say they are concerned about you, you should probably take notice." He said it can be difficult for people to point out concerns they have about others' behavior, but when they do, the at-risk person should consider getting help. Warning signs of suicide include withdrawal, mood swings, reckless behaviors, guilt or shame over something, general apathy whether they live or die, or talking or joking about death or dying.  If you see those signs, it could be a good time to ask how they're doing. 

"Don't be afraid to ask others if they're having thoughts of killing themselves," Major Buhite said. "Asking that question will not cause them to kill themselves."
The major also said a person's perspective is important.

"We can't control everything, but we do have a choice on making healthy coping behaviors that will likely make our lives better, or unhealthy coping behaviors that will keep the problems in place," he said.

Seeking help

Major Buhite said it is much better to seek help sooner than later. "Depression is a disease," he said, "and we want to catch a disease before it spreads. The patient has a better prognosis for recovery when we catch things early."

According to the major, mental health professionals do not need to report anything to the commander on most people, particularly if that person sought help early and on their own.

He also said therapy for depression is just like any other medical condition.

"If you break your leg, the doctor puts you on a profile for a while until you've healed," he said. "If you're anxious, not sleeping can't concentrate and not eating, we need you to heal before we can safely put you back to work."

There are a lot of resources for a person to get help. The phone number for National Suicide Prevention is 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or call the Mental Health Clinic on base at 582-6603. Some service members have also been reaching out for help at www.vets4warriors.com.